You know you’re an older Masters rider when… by K-Dogg

Masters Riders 2015-1
JOM explaining Garmin operation to K-Dogg before the start of Savage CX 2013.
  • It takes 10 minutes scrolling down to your age when you register online.
  • Your buddies see you shirtless and opine that you are “cut”, when it’s more like “creased.”
  • You can’t have a beer less than two days before a race.
  • Corner girls yell “Woo hoo! Go old guys!”
  • There is more hair in your ears than on your head.
  • When you stand around, wrinkles cover your kneecaps.
  • You wear a do-rag.
  • You gave your Garmin to your wife ’cause you’d like to put a nail through it.
  • You can’t leave your home county without stopping for a bathroom visit.
  • Revealing your age is a strategy – as in, I’m not in your race, we’re in separate categories.
  • Cunning is more valuable than cardio.
  • Flats absolutely require bifocals.
K-Dogg's wrinkled arse legs.
K-Dogg’s wrinkled arse legs.

3 comments on “You know you’re an older Masters rider when… by K-Dogg

  1. You know you’re an older Masters rider when… your lining up with retired pros cut better than the elite riders.

    You know you’re an older Masters rider when… you’ve been in the masters class for at least ten year the the younger ones keep coming.

    You know you’re an older Masters rider when… you keep waiting for all your competitors give it up and let you win.

    You know you’re an older Masters rider when… it doesn’t seem like you’ll ever win cause the others never seem to die.

    You know you’re an older Masters rider when… you almost look forward to the senior discount at your favorite eating place after your race.

  2. ….You hear, “You’ve still got it, you old dog!” : when you’ve just used every ounce of ever diminishing energy and trickery to win a non existing unimportant sprint, which the young ones call a “surge”

    …Your kit never matches ‘cos the tops are too tight, (they never used too be), and the bibs’ rear end sag so much they catch on the saddle as you stand up for the aforementioned “surge”.

    …those once svelte tanned legs look like K-Dogg’s, even when you’re flexing!

    …as your bunch pass a group of the “tender gender”, you’re either not interested, too busy sucking a wheel, sucking in your gut…only to have it flop out the sides, or think “I’m three times their age”.

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