Excuses we’ve heard for blowing off Training Rides:
- I have to cover my wife’s plants (used in Gainesville, Florida by a supposed local hard man).
- I haven’t washed my tights since last winter.
- Moths ate my wool jersey.
- I have a baby shower going on.
- I left my legs at the charity ride.
- I can’t find my plum cozy (modified cod piece).
- I have to be at the University President’s house at 5:30pm.
- I’m not showing because there are green blobs on the radar map.
- The gaps in my 1x drivetrain aren’t suitable for the local terrain.
- I forgot to charge my Di2 battery.
Excuses K-Dogg has heard:
- There’s a football game on.
- I drank two beers last night.
- All I have is f’n tea!
- I have to go to church to please my f’n mother in law.
- Game traffic will be bad.
- All I have are f’n 25mm Road tires. I will be crushed in the sign sprints.
- I had a deep tissue massage last night.
- I forgot to charge my Garmin.
- J.D. (local mechanic) is putting new spooge in my tires and the shop doesn’t open ’til 10.
- The gravel route is deep sand and I only have a straight block (that’s a cassette in the modern-day lingo).
- I’m out of sunscreen.
- Dr. Pain learned about tapering.
This article dedicated to the November 2014 Florida cold snap that the local soft serves were complaining about.