Piggy’s Revenge Race Report 2015

Piggy’s Revenge 2015 – Race Report – Courtesy of Dr Pain
January 11, 2015

L to R: Pfaff Junior, Dr Pain and Pfaff Daddy. Dr Pain’s identity is hidden to protect the innocent.

Three Gainesville Lads traveled to Venice (not Italy), Florida for this year’s World’s Tallest Piggy raceDr. Pain, Pfaff Daddy, and Pfaff Junior attended.

The CycleLogic p/b BikeWorks kit was a wee bit too conspicuous for Dr. Pain, who considered comments like “Are you guys going to crush it again… and such” to be a bit like a target on their backs. This year the route was 55 miles, down from 60 or so last year.  This was apparently because of excessive high water… excessive because there is always water on this course.

The long route (as opposed to 20 miles, and 40 miles) was touted as more cross bike friendly.  One wonders if the promoter, a very nice chap, has actually ever ridden a cross bike?

Anyway, after a gentle bike-pace leadout for a half-mile, the race commenced.  Pfaff Junior, Pfaff Daddy, and Dr. Pain immediately moved to the front at a sporting tempo.  Three minutes later Dr. Pain fell down.  There was no good reason for him falling down, but really, is there ever a good reason?  After a 30 second systems check, he remounted and did his first TT of the day.  Seven minutes later, he rejoined the front group, thanks to fantastic team work by the Pfaffs, who soft-pedaled to allow him to catch up.


The First Gravel Road

Pfaff Junior surveying.
Pfaff Junior surveying.

As soon as the group hit the first gravel road, the group blew up completely leaving five of us at the front.  This was probably five or six miles into the race.

The Gainesville Crew had surveyed the crowd at the start and identified one particularly fit looking orange-kitted gent , who as expected was with us.  He had tribal knowledge and used it to his advantage on several occasions.  He also used each dismount and remount at the gates to put the Good Dr. Pain into difficulty.  Dr. Pain had a bad experience with a cross dismount and now gets on and off his bike slower than your grandmother.  A good tactic, given he was outnumbered three to one.



At about mile 16, we entered the Quagmire.  A black mud rutted stretch of a hundred meters or so.  The Pfaffs seemed to have no difficulty negotiating this stretch, but Dr. Pain was forced to execute a trademark dismount.  After regaining solid ground, and 12 minutes of all out chasing, he made contact.  Once again, his team mates did their best to control the guy in orange kit.  He was observed to drill it at the front as Dr. Pain was about to make contact.  Pfaff Junior was kind enough to drop off the back and assist for the last 50 meters or so.  Good lad.  Note from JOM… those years of being nice to him when he was a weenie, sometimes pay off.


Hog Wallow of Doom

Piggy2015-3Sometime later, we entered the Hog Wallow of Doom, an interminably long, squishy, slippery, rutted track.  Mr. Orange Kit drilled it again, putting Dr. Pain off the back.  A 25-minute TT followed before he made contact again.  Shortly after regaining the remaining three riders, Mr. Orange kit “sat up”, apparently suffering bonk or something, leaving just the Gainesvillians to carry on.

All would have been well except for some challenged navigation.  Despite two Garmins, with purple lines showing the way, the trio managed to make at least two wrong turns, doubled back at least once, and managed to traverse the slowest, thickest grass field for what seemed like 100 miles.  At some point we noticed there were other riders (dropped much earlier) riding to our right on an actual trail.  We decided that might be a better idea and went that way.  The Pfaffs were forced to abandon Dr. Pain since we were no longer alone at the front.  Note from JOM… the boys were clearly missing my purple line navigational skills 🙂


Lost and Abandoned

Dr. Pain lost sight of his companions, then the trail, then the purple line on his Garmin, then nearly lost his mind.  After several wrong turns, some turnarounds, consultation with a couple locals, and consultation with Google maps on his phone, he concluded he was lost.  Race over.  Finally, he reprogrammed his Garmin to route to the start.

Several miles later, he found another fine gentleman, on the course, and racing.  They rode together for a bit, until the final bit of bumpy doubletrack, when Dr. Pain finally decided it was time to go home.


At the Front and Victory!

Meanwhile, the Pfaffs were doling out some punishment on the two riders who had rejoined the front after we had made our wrong turns.  Working as a great father-son team, they dispatched them and rolled to victory.

Pfaff Junior the overall winner, with Pfaff Daddy in 2nd overall, and winner of the old guy division.  Dr. Pain rolled in before all the food was gone.

Dr Pain was kind enough to shoot some video, which Gravel Cyclist will make available shortly.

To the victors go the spoils!
To the victors go the spoils!


  1. Avatar Steve Christian

    This from the guy that led the pack for the first half mile. I know it was a neutral start but I had you all covered. I did put myself into a bit of O2 debt in order to keep from getting ridden over.

    I did get to see Dr. Pain’s early on tip-over and then see him speeding by me on the way to the front again. I collected riders all day and ended up riding in about 20 minutes behind the Paff’s.

    I blew past the convenience store at 35 miles cause I was carrying adequate provisions for an all day excursion. Chris Slack, one of our local Cat 2 riders and a CX ace went thru with me. He was only back there with me because he kept getting lost and off course and I would turtle back up to him. At that point he was out of water and didn’t have a clue where the course went. I had an extra bottle of Gatorade and I knew where to go. The deal was that he would pull and I would point and occasionally give him a drink.

    Sometimes old and wise can mitigate young and fast. I had a flat with 3 to go and traded Chris another drink for a CO2 shot that carried the tire to the finish. Chris could have left me a that point but like the gentleman he is, he pulled some more and slowed at the finish so we could ride thru together. We tied for 5th.

    We had 30+ riders at the start. Sometimes I wonder what some of these guys are thinking when they fly early and die later, only to come limping in at the end.

    It was great to have you guys at Piggy’s again this year. Your legendary status helps to bring some of our local speedies out to measure themselves against the gold standard of CYCLE LOGIC.

  2. K-Dogg K-Dogg

    Steve, thanks for your narrative. it is rare for us to get a fresh perspective from other teams and riders. It helps us stay honest…..or reasonably so. Why let the facts get in the way of a good story?

  3. Avatar Eric claessens

    I have several events under my belt (dirty kanza, transiowa ,almanzo and the hurracan ) to name a few ,all done on cross bikes they actually are a source of inspiration for Piggy’s
    All of those events have challenging terrain.I am glad you had a adventure yesterday.Eric

    • JOM JOM

      Eric, how did you like Dirty Kanza? Registration opened a couple of days ago, but I cannot bring myself to ride 200 miles of gravel…

      • Avatar Eric Claessens

        If you are going to do it better sign up soon,It was challenging due to the headwinds (almost 3/4 of the route),no shade or trees and multiple short steep climbs.(12000 ft total)The scenery is really different, and the front group really fast.especially the locals.A lot of people with punctures.The weather is the biggest factor. Overall the atmosphere is great with huge crowds and friendly town.

  4. Avatar Matt W

    Congrats on the win and thanks for dragging me for a few km. I was the 40 miler who hopped on your wheel after the rest stop until the other guy on your wheel directed me to a side trail that was not actually part of the 40 mile route until later… I turn back around and carried on until Dr. Pain passed me and then hopped on his wheel. Sadly for me that lasted about 30 seconds until he upshifted and left my tired single speeding legs behind.

  5. Avatar Michael Toth

    This was my first Gravel type event and the longest I’ve ridden since the beginning of cyclocross season,so I wasn’t sure what to expect. My goal was to finish under 5 hours. I ended up finishing in 4:27. So I was happy with the time.
    My new Ritchey Break- Away Cross worked OK, It’s fitted out with a 1X10 42 front 11-28 in the back, that worked great. I put on 700X42 continental speed ride tires and had 36 PSI rear and 32 in the front. That seemed OK. They worked great on the paved and limestone sections and survived on the rougher stuff and sucked in the deep sand. Overall a great event. JOM might remember me from Swamp Cross in December. We talked about gravel events and then he proceeded to heckle me for my Ti Motobecane Cross bike. Hope to see you guys at future events

    • JOM JOM

      Hi Michael, I remember you well. If I recall, I said your bike was a Fakebecane 🙂

  6. Avatar Steve Christian

    JOM you missed your chance for the DK200 in 2015. Entry season opened last Saturday and they filled all 1500 spots in 32 hours. I will be going back for my third time this year. I finished just before sunset last year in just at 14 hours. It is an EPIC ride. You would do great as you have to power to go out with the lead pack and the brains to modulate the effort before you meltdown. Well maybe…. In the end it usually comes down to a solo effort for the winner at the end. Everybody else is in the weeds or has their tongues hanging out.
    They do have a waiting list that you can get on. Entrants are also able to officially transfer their entries to someone else provide the transaction is completed before 5/1. You can often see people offer their “seats” so to speak if they get injured or get cold feet.

    • JOM JOM

      Steve, I really don’t know if I’m up for the DK this year anyway. Maybe I’ll change my mind in a week or two.

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